Emotions and At Peace?

Ok, you remember the roller coaster of emotions I told you about? Well, they have started. They aren't horrible right now. We are starting to snap at each other a little bit more. We don't mean it, but it just happens. We know what is going on so we apologize right after.

I have also cried a few more times the past week. I think with Thanksgiving just passing that everything is really sinking in. The Marine will be gone very soon. I think being on the other side of Thanksgiving makes it more real. I'm glad that we have Christmas together, but I know it's going to be hard and emotional. And I hate that.

I chatted with a friend the other day on IM and he asked me, "Are you at peace with this deployment?" It had been a couple of weeks since I had talked to him. I'm sure he was trying to be nice and was trying to find a way to see if I was ok. But that question just bothered me. I have had, "How are you doing?", "Is everything ok", or "Do you need anything or any help?" Those don't really bother me, but "...at peace..." It's not like the Marine has passed away. No, I'm not at peace with this deployment. I wasn't at peace with the last one. Honestly, I'm not sure why he ask me that way, because it wasn't like I was freaking out when we talked. I just told him and we talked a bit. He asked how I was doing, I said "Ok."

I told him, I wasn't at peace, but that I was accepting the deployment and it was going to happen no matter what. It's not like we can do much about the deployment. I also said I was more numb than anything. I guess that's how I deal.

I think I may need to take a step back from this friend. When I told him the Marine was leaving and told him what he would be doing, he told me that the Government would protect him well. And that it's sad that they would spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to protect my Marine while the Grunts weren't taken care of. WHAT? Did you just say that to me! It's not like the Marine is the Commandant of the Marine Corps! I did tell him he wasn't going to be guarded, and that he may only have a handful of Marines that he's working with. So they weren't going to spend anymore money on my Marine than any other troop that is over there. I wish people would think before they speak sometimes.

So it's been a bit of a week. I'll get through it. I know the emotions will just get worse then better and that I will always have to deal with people that think they know what's going on but don't with the military. It's just another week.